56 Outrageously Funny Anniversary Cards for All Couples

Anniversaries are significant milestones. It's important to celebrate the bond between two lives and remind us of our vows.

We've carefully selected a few dozen of the best and funniest anniversary cards from independent greeting card brands.

From lighthearted teases to inappropriate jokes, these cards are a fun way to wish your partner, friends, or family a happy anniversary.

Table of contents (click to jump):

16 Funny Anniversary Cards for All

For your spouse, your friends, family members, or any other couple — we have anniversary cards for them all.

Here are some of the best funny anniversary cards for any couple. We guarantee these handpicked choices will inspire celebration on this occasion and optimism for a long and healthy relationship.

Leather & Lace - It may seem innocent on the cover, but inside is the image of the mouse hanging up some lingerie along with the punchline, "I'd leave your dirty mind unwashed."

A brilliantly-designed card to get your partner in the mood on your anniversary.

Cher a Little More - The punchline, "I would, you look terrible" is written inside. This hilarious Cher-inspired card will give your partner a good laugh on your anniversary.

"You're my favorite thing to do."

You’re My Favorite Thing to Do - Physical intimacy is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship.

I'm sure your partner won't have any complaints about keeping it that way.

A Whole New World - This is an excellent card to wish your partner a happy anniversary. This straight-out-of-a-fairy-tale design has the sweet words "I appreciate you" written inside.

Love Your Guts available at Redwood + Co - For that beautiful person you fell in love with all of those years ago — both inside and out.

Hold Hands Forever available at ARW Alexandria - Or poop! (hopefully?)

Did or Did Not available at DROOZ and Company - Either way, it’s a great anniversary card!

To Death available at Cheek - “For better or worse, in sickness and in health…”

"Happy anniversary. You. My love and affection."

Love and Affection - A perfect choice for cat lovers.

Sometimes you just want to smother your partner with love and affection. This comical anniversary card will help make your anniversary more special. 

"We love with a love that is greater than love."

Greater Than Love - An eye-catching sweet and fun anniversary card. When you love your partner more than words can explain, you just have to be redundant.

"Let's take a moment to appreciate that I still have dirty thoughts about you.

Dirty Thoughts - A simple letterpress anniversary card that we're sure your partner will appreciate. This card is a sweet and humorous way of letting your partner know the "flame" is still burning.

"You're my favorite song."

You're My Favorite Song - A charming pop-art style anniversary card. A favorite song is something you can listen to on repeat and never grow tired of.

There's nobody I'd rather have snoring loud as f*** next to me. Happy anniversary."

Snoring - When two become one, sleeping arrangements are just part of the equation. Loud snores might bother you at the start, but we can get used to anything in time.

"Happy anniversary to the best human there has ever bean."

Favourite Human Bean - Your partner is often your favorite human. This lively anniversary card is a "punny" way to wish your favorite "human bean" a happy anniversary.

"Couples that fart together stay together. Happy anniversary to my farting partner."

Couples That Fart Together - As your bond with your partner grows, you get really comfortable with each other. You loosen up and stop becoming embarrassed about things that you would usually be shy about around other people... for better or worse.

"A toast for you."

A Toast for You! - A beautiful pop-up anniversary card to help inspire a celebratory mood. A wonderful card choice for any occasion.

12 Laugh-Worthy Anniversary Cards for Couples

For family or friends, these anniversary card choices are sure to make the couple's day. We've included several laugh-worthy anniversary cards to wish the good-humored couple another happy year of being together.

"Ew, you're in love."

Ew - Wish the couple a happy anniversary with this sassy letterpress card. We guarantee this pick will make them smile.

365 Days of Captivity available at Anthem SF - The rare message that’s perfect for both zoo animals AND your beloved spouse!

Still Together available at Majesty and Friends - If you can’t believe it, just imagine how surprised their parents are.

Kinda Gross available at Hazel General Store - We love to hate to see it.

I Have No One available at Full Circle Gifts & Goods - 🥲🥲🥲

Hate Couple available at Stash - My spouse and I can’t even decide what we want for dinner most nights. Mutual hatred is far too coordinated for us, but not for the recipients of this card!

"You two are relationship goals."

Relationship Goals - A colorful and playful anniversary card. This card is a great choice to wish that picture-perfect couple a happy anniversary.

So Natural - This hilarious anniversary card features a mention of Sir David Attenborough himself.

He would be proud to narrate a couple in their natural state of being in love.

What To Do For Dinner - A couple figuring out what to eat together is a daunting task. Rest assured, marriage is 100% love. This creative card is a fun way to wish that couple a happy anniversary.

"To another year of growing old and disgusting together."

Old and Disgusting - A humorous anniversary card for that good-humored couple. They may get old physically, but their love will only grow stronger.

"It's incredible how long you've tolerated each other."

Remarkable - Long-lasting relationships come with a lot of tolerance for each other. This handsomely-designed card is a great pick to wish that tolerant couple a happy anniversary.

"In the sock drawer of life, you two make the perfect pair."

Sock Drawer - A quality pair makes a perfect couple.

As the social psychologist Erich Fromm once said, "True love is like a pair of socks: you've got to have two, and they've got to match."

24 Endearing Funny Anniversary Cards for Your Husband

A husband protects your heart, your relationship, your household, your family, and your being. Give him a laugh on your special day of celebration with one of these funny cards.

Touch My Hooha available at Becker Minty - She’ll never look at strawberries the same way.

What’s Mine Is Yours available at Beard MKE - We’re not talking about bank accounts here 😏

Your Fault available at Redux Collective - Some traditions never die. Blame it on yo’ man.

(In fairness… it probably really is his fault.)

"Same p*nis forever."

Same Penis Forever - Commitment takes a lifetime. A simple and hilarious anniversary card to show your dedication to the man of your life.

Could Not Have Tolerated Me This Long available at Exit Nineteen - It doesn’t always make sense, but year after year, they continue to put up with us!

Things We Do In Text available at Magnolia Rifle - Oh, believe us: he won’t mind.

Extra Baggage available at Solis - “If you can’t handle me at my worst…”

Oh… okay. They handled that surprisingly well, actually 😅

Favorite Husband available at Kreative Knotts - …so far ;)

Kidding! Kidding. May your love and happiness last forever.

Methane Poisoning available at Acme Gift - Enduring the smell of your spouse’s farts is never easy, but if you’ve done it, you’re definitely in love. Give this wonderful store a follow on Instagram for more hilarious products like this.

Laid available at POST by Mutual Adoration - Let's not beat around the bush. Tell him what you’d really like to happen on your anniversary night.

Now Would Be Fine available at Atlas Stationers - Anniversary sex is no different than the chores your mom used to ask of you:

Why wait for later when you can do it right now?

BJ Card available at Lucky Flowers - A funny greeting card always makes a better anniversary gift than Bland Juice.

Or is it the other BJ?

It’s Your Fault available at Good Egg - We don't apologize and move on. Instead, we give them this card.

Better Than Me available at The grAttitude Shop - He probably didn’t find someone better than you because, NEWSFLASH: no one is better for him than you.

"Me talking, you pretending to listen. So far it's worked out well."

Perfect Relationship - Confidence is key. This hilarious card is a great way to wish your husband a happy anniversary and make his day.

Couldn’t Resist available at Prelude and Dawn - His parents must have been bakers..

'Cause he got nice buns you can’t resist.

Favorite P available at Snark Gifts - You had your choices, but you picked one and made it your favorite. He should be flattered, honestly.

Who Puts Up With Who? available at La Quaintrelle - If you're both a P.I.T.A., it can be hard to tell who puts up with who. Maybe that's what makes it work!

"You're the Jim to my Pam."

Jim to My Pam - The relationship between Jim and Pam in The Office was so realistic that it was incredibly relatable.

Though far from perfect, they worked out well in the end. The perfect card for a fan of the show.

"You are the man of my dreams. I do have some pretty f***ed up dreams though to be fair."

Man of My Dreams - Wish your man a happy anniversary with this quirky pick. This is a great way to let him know you appreciate him sticking around and dealing with your weirdness.

"To my darling husband. We need to spice things up a bit. Let's go kinky. Happy anniversary."

Spice Things Up - Routines do tend to get boring. This anniversary, get wild and spice things up a bit. It can work wonders.

18 Playfully Funny Anniversary Cards for Wife

You chose her because you trusted her to hold your heart and keep it safe... and also for her outstanding sense of humor.

Every year you spend together strengthens the bonds of love. We've handpicked a number of playfully funny cards that are sure to show her how much you care.

Let’s Hump available at Toasted Pixie - LET’S RIDE THIS CAMEL, BABY!!!

Oh. It means “hump” :(

To - Do List available at Cosube - Just make sure you’ve knocked out everything else on your “honey-do” list, otherwise you may not be allowed to check this item off the list.

Trophy Husband available at Paper Moon Books - Do you think this dad bod occurs naturally?! This takes hard work!

"Same v*g forever."

Same V*g Forever - Marriage is a contract, a promise that shouldn't be broken. This simple and hilarious letterpress anniversary card is great to let her know she's the only one for you.

Horrifying Bouquet available at Sexology Shop - It really is. There are some cards on the market that illustrate it, but we’ve spared you (this time…).

Way Cool available at Odds and Sods Shoppe - Sometimes you just gotta let ‘em know, you know?

Mine Mine Mine available at Simplistic Home - “I love you more than a seagull loves stealing food out of people’s hands.”

Your Vagina available at Common People Shop - Let her know you’re no longer a collector! Well… hopefully not a collector.

Heart Boner available at New Profanity - Inappropriate? Yes. Accurate? Also yes.

We Should Probably… available at Blank Inside - It’s a modest and reasonable proposal.

Loading The Dishwasher available at Frank - Hey but really, y’all. Watch a YouTube video or SOMETHING. IT’S NOT THAT HARD.

Another Year available at Narwhal Gifts - On the bright side, you always have this year instead! It’s never too late to change your mind.

Making Love - Is it me, or did it just get hot in here? Celebrate a steamy anniversary with this card available at Johnny Ruth!

Tongue Powers available at Mellow Monkey - Who would have thought that a tongue could do so much? And that includes making your anniversary night the best night. 😉

"I'm a simp for you."

Simp for You - This hilariously modern anniversary card is a fun way to let her know that you'd do anything for her. Make her your number one priority on your anniversary.

"I'm so you are my wife. If I had a different wife I would kick her out of the house and find you."

Go Find You - Have you ever had the feeling that you and her are just destined to be together? A sweet anniversary card for the love of your life.

"Haha you love me."

Homer and Marge - An adorable Simpsons-themed anniversary card. Sometimes, annoying your wife is a sign of affection. Let her know you only annoy her in the way Homer does with Marge — with the best of intentions.

"You make my wand erecto patronum."

Wizard Love - Let her know she still has the magic that gets you going with this funny anniversary card. The perfect option for a Harry Potter fan.

6 Clever Anniversary Cards for Parents

In 2022, the divorce rate in the U.S. will rise to at least 44.2%. Aren't you glad your parents are still together after all this time?

Wish them a happy anniversary with one of these clever anniversary cards.

"Happy anniversary from your favorite financial burden."

Financial Burden - It's estimated to cost a quarter of a million dollars to raise a child. That's an enormous investment! This is an environmentally-friendly, homemade anniversary card that's guaranteed to make them laugh.

All That Nagging available at Take Note Boutique - Perfect for parents who have been married for so many decades that they don’t even realize they’re getting on each others’ nerves anymore!

"Love is hanging out together."

Hanging Out - A comical anniversary card, perfect for your good-humored parents. You should probably make time to hang out with them as well.

"Happy anniversary from the reason you stayed married. You're welcome."

The Reason - A clever anniversary card with a "stay together for the kids" joke. A family that laughs together, stays together.

"To a wonderful mom and dad on your anniversary."

Duck Anniversary - Ducks are socially affectionate creatures. Here's a simple but cute anniversary card for the lovebirds.

"Happy anniversary to my favorite parents."

Favorite Parents - This gorgeous card is a perfect gift for your parents on their anniversary. It's a great choice to make the best parents you've ever known feel special.

6 Charmingly Funny 25th Wedding Anniversary Cards

Staying together for a quarter of a century is definitely no small feat.

Imagine all the patience and effort that's been invested into the relationship. Whether it's your anniversary or a couple close to you, here are 5 charmingly funny 25th anniversary cards.

"After 25 years my love for you still sets this card on fire."

Fire - A brilliant card that expresses the still-burning desire for your spouse. A creative way to let your spouse know that the flame is still burning bright.

"I survived 25 years of marriage."

I Survived - Congratulations, you made it! Approximately least half of married couples make it to their 25th anniversary.

That awkward moment when you realize you've been married longer than you haven't been."

Awkward Moment - Remember what it was like to be single? You've gotten so used to married life that you haven't thought about it in what feels like forever.

Forever To Go - It's hard to grasp the magnitude of how long 25 years is until you break it down. This sweet card illustrates the gravity of a "silver anniversary".

"Congratulations on twenty five years of wedded bliss."

Wedded Bliss - Your mindset is a big part of the secret to a long marriage. Sometimes you just need a positive mindset to manifest happiness.

"After 25 years of marriage... I understand why it's the spouse that is always the prime suspect."

Prime Suspect - After 25 years, you know everything there is to know about your spouse — all their quirks, habits, and secrets. The things they do might irritate and stress you after all these years, but try not to kill them.

4 Adorably Funny 50th Anniversary Cards

Golden anniversaries are definitely an occasion to celebrate. Less than 5% of marriages, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, last 50 years.

We've found a handful of adorably funny 50th anniversary cards to wish your spouse or another couple a happy golden anniversary.

"50 wonderful years of marriage and we couldn't be happier."

Couldn't Be Happier - A hilarious card that features a grumpy-looking older couple. Don't worry, I'm sure they're happy. Natural biological processes just make it harder for us to smile with age!

"Holy crap 50 years and we're still married."

Holy Crap - Being married for 50 years is something to be pretty thrilled about. You've been together for over half your life with your life partner, and that's no minor achievement.

"Still rockin and rollin after 50 years."

Rockin' and Rollin - If you or another couple are celebrating a golden anniversary, you or they almost certainly lived through the golden age of rock and roll.

"We're still rolling after 50 years of marriage."

Still Rolling - In life, you never stop rolling the dice. 50 years of being married is a win worth celebrating.

Thanks for Your Time!

We sincerely appreciate you dropping by and browsing our list. If you decide to get a card featured on our list, please come back and let us know how you like it.

We're always open to suggestions. Let us know if you know of any cards that you'd like to see added to this list.

Let's close with one final, inspirational quote: "Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage." ~Ambrose Bierce

Love you!

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